So, what happened?

Long story short—I got sick the day after Thanksgiving, tested positive for COVID, thought I had a really lengthy ocular migraine the following Monday, and when I woke up Tuesday, I could barely see – I had huge scotomas (areas of blocked vision) in both eyes.

I was finally able to get in to the retina specialist on that Friday, and they did a lot of tests, and he diagnosed me with cotton wool spots. If you’re like me, you’ve never heard of them. Apparently they are mostly associated with underlying conditions like diabetes or hypertension, neither of which I have, and they often don’t have symptoms, especially the large scotomas like mine.

That first couple of weeks (especially before the doctor visit) was super scary. I only had peripheral vision, and could not see anything directly in front of me. I slept a lot, since I was unable to do much.

Gradually my sight has gotten a little better. It has been two months now, and I still have large areas of blocked/blank vision. I call them my Pac-Men, because each one has a shape similar to a Pac-Man. They face opposite directions, and when I’m just looking out one eye or the other, my vision is far more reduced than when I’m looking with both eyes. The binocular vision attempts to “fill in the gaps” and is partially successful.

I don’t know what my vision was originally measured at, but it was really bad, whatever the number was. It improved a little at my last visit, and improved a bit more at my most recent follow-up. I am now classified at 20/50 in my right eye. My left eye is slightly worse.

The good news is that the cotton wool spots have been declared “resolved” based on the latest scans and photos. The big white spots on my retinas have disappeared. But my sight is not back to normal yet, and the doctor said that in itself is “normal” because the vision distortion/disturbances lag behind the healing.

I can see things a little better if I magnify them a lot, so I’ve been doing a lot of zooming in of screens so that I can read important things. I’m not back to reading books yet. I mostly listen to them (thank you narration tools!). I have started working partial days again, attempting to eventually work my way back up to full days. It’s challenging, but so far I have been able to avoid eye strain headaches (thank you magnifier tools!). I’m hopeful that will continue as I add work hours to each day.

There has been no quilting, cross-stitching, crochet, or other sewing during this time. I haven’t really tried to get on social media much like Instagram either, since the vision has been so reduced. I’m looking forward to the day that I can sit down at my sewing machine again and begin to work on the quilts that I had to abandon when this all started.

However, because I can knit simple things almost blindfolded or in the dark, I have been able to keep my hands busy with some charity hats and other knitting. That has helped so much, along with my community of family and friends, who have prayed for me, talked with me on the phone, shuttled me here and there, and even provided some meals especially at the very beginning. I know that I am so blessed and loved, and I am so very grateful for each and every one. (Our cats were ever watchful and attentive too, especially at the beginning).

I feel like I have an even better appreciation of how difficult it is for people with vision disabilities to use websites (part of my job includes accessibility advocacy and compliance).

Having been very independent ever since I got my driver license at 16, I also now have a better appreciation of how it feels to have that independence taken away, since I’ve been unable to drive all this time, and still need a bit more sight improvement before my doctor says I can drive again. I don’t tend to get out a lot, but when you’re told you can’t just go wherever you want, whenever you want, and you have to ask others to take you to where you need or want to go, it can be a little depressing.

Given that my eyesight has slowly improved since the beginning of this ordeal, I’m hopeful that it will be fully restored eventually. But I understand that will take time. Expect the blog to continue to be a little quieter for a while, but I will try to share a few photos of knitting projects as I work on them between now and then.